While I was gardening

The art of gardening and the science of life.

A few thoughts on an anniversary.

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I am taking a short break from the garden to celebrate our wedding anniversary.  The gardening blog will return soon.

A Commitment to Love.

Today my spouse and I celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary.  We were young when we met – I was 19 and had just left home, and he had recently returned home from the war in Vietnam.  We met in a college book store.  I was flipping through record albums (remember those?)  and had decided upon one to purchase when I stepped backwards and landed on his foot.  Our life together began with that step.  Within a month I moved from the dormitory to the house he rented with an artist.   Within 7 months, we were married.  With 2 short separations along the way, we have been together and in love since that day.

Often, I am asked how we have stayed together for 45 years – “what’s your secret?”  It has always seemed like such an odd question to me but it is, ultimately, very easy to answer.

First, you must genuinely love the person you marry.  Love is far more than passion; it includes respect, friendship, and trust.

Second, have a sense of humor!  If you can laugh at your own mistakes you will understand your partners’ mistakes.  Are you perfect?  Well, neither is your partner.

Third, be kind.  Life can be brutally difficult.  If you treat your partner with kindness, it will come back to you.

Fourth, and most important: forgive!   If you and your spouse treat each other with kindness, if you remember that this person has a life outside of yours, and has difficulties and struggles just as you do, then there is nothing that can’t be forgiven.

I wish you all a lifetime of happiness and love.



Author: dphare2014

Horticulturist, Lead Steward Carkeek Park Demonstration Gardens, Author

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